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“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, in so far as it stands ready against the accidental and the unforeseen, and is not apt to fall.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
No sugar coating here by Marcus! And as somebody whose role was governing the greatest empire at that time, his great responsibility of which he shouldered came with struggles and hassles of their own, we should do well to heed his observation.
This statement from our Stoic emperor can easily be reformulated as comparing everyday life as like that to a wrestling session in the sense of struggling to overcome daily hassles and ongoing problems. Situations arise of which we much rather prefer to avoid, but we only fail in escaping. They leave us with no other alternative but to overcome the obstacles through gripping it by the horns. If we could personify stoicism, it would be like a wrestler assuming a fighting stance waiting readily to throw his oncoming opponent onto the arena sands. And just as that wrestler stands prepared to throw his opponent, we must be ready to tackle the adversities that come our way!
I think we can all relate to Seneca’s observation here: ‘No time is exempt; in the midst of our very pleasures there spring up causes of suffering.’ Life throws unpleasant situations onto our laps when we least expect it and the timing could not have been more untimely in the midst of our enjoying life’s pleasant circumstances and conditions. The causes of suffering are dumped onto us like a truckload of manure onto the ground in front of our front door. The relish of enjoyment is snatched away like by a thief, all gone because of the ugly arising of problems. I did not order this burden on my doorstep, do not thrust these conditions upon me! Wretched life!
Life brims with adversity and one of the key teachings of Stoicism is the recognition that setbacks are not inherently negative or insurmountable. We must ask ourselves: “next time adversity strikes could there be any room for an opportunity for personal growth and development?” With courage we can embrace challenges as a chance to learn, to cultivate inner strength and emerge stronger from difficult situations.
Stoicism meets the struggles of the heart with psychotherapeutic responses guided by reason. Our habitual reaction may be to resist and resent the presence of burdensome conditions, which is of course a natural and typical response. But Stoicism, as a philosophy of the good life, approaches this unconventionally and proudly! It teaches us to approach them with acceptance and equanimity. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus famously said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus advises we should focus our energy on the things that are within our control—the way we perceive and respond to events—rather than wasting our energy on futile resistance or frustration. So this central idea of distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not is a cornerstone method for how we can wrestle against adversity. According to Epictetus, external events, such as the actions of others or unexpected circumstances, lie outside of our control. However, our thoughts, attitudes, and responses to those events are wholly within our control because they are elements of the mind. By directing our attention and efforts towards the internal realm of our minds, we can find greater peace and stability. To apply this method in modern life, we can start by examining our automatic reactions to challenging situations. Our habitual response may be to resist, resent, or feel overwhelmed by burdensome conditions.
Let’s bring this method to life, imagine you unexpectedly receive news that you have been laid off from your job. Suddenly losing a source of major income is a situation that can easily trigger feelings of frustration, fear, and uncertainty. But we must make a start by getting into the mindset of a stoic wrestler by recognising that the job loss itself may be beyond your control, but your thoughts, emotions, and actions in response to the situation are within your control. Reframe your perspective by seeing the setback as an opportunity for personal growth and development. Cultivate resilience and emotional balance by acknowledging and processing negative emotions while engaging in self-care activities. Take proactive steps towards finding new employment and focus on what you can do in the present moment to enhance your chances of success. Practice acceptance of the situation and let go of attachments to specific outcomes. By applying this method, you approach the job loss with acceptance, equanimity, and a growth mindset, transforming the setback into an opportunity for personal and professional growth. Ultimately, you emerge stronger and more resilient in the face of adversity. When faced with adversity, we can consciously choose to shift our perspective. Instead of dwelling on the negatives or assigning blame, we can seek alternative interpretations that empower us. By reframing our thoughts and focusing on the potential opportunities for growth and learning, we can transform setbacks into stepping stones for personal development.
In the arena of life, where adversities and hassles abound, Stoicism stands as a beacon of resilience and inner strength. The metaphor of a wrestler grappling with opponents reflects the essence of Stoic philosophy, urging us to embrace the struggles and challenges that come our way. As Marcus Aurelius declared, the art of living is more akin to wrestling than dancing, for it demands our readiness to confront the accidental and the unforeseen, refusing to succumb to defeat.
In our modern world, filled with uncertainty and chaos, the Stoic teachings continue to resonate with profound wisdom. Stoicism reminds us that setbacks and obstacles are not to be feared or avoided but rather seen as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Like the wrestler who assumes a fighting stance, we too must be prepared to engage with life’s challenges head-on, recognising that true strength lies not in escaping adversity, but in wrestling with it.
It’s worth reminding ourselves of Epictetus’ advice, that what truly matters is not what happens to us but how we react to it. From this wise insight we are invited to shift our focus from external circumstances to our internal realm of thoughts, emotions, and responses. By directing our attention towards what is within our control—our perceptions, attitudes, and actions—we reclaim our power and transform obstacles into stepping stones.
Imagine a world where individuals approach challenges with the mindset of a stoic wrestler—steadfast, resilient, and unwavering in the face of adversity. Instead of lamenting the burden of suffering, we learn to find meaning in the struggle, to extract valuable lessons from life’s harshest blows. We cultivate virtues such as courage, wisdom, and temperance, arming ourselves with an indomitable spirit that enables us to overcome any obstacle.
Stoicism challenges us to examine our automatic reactions, to question our resistance and resentment towards burdensome conditions. It invites us to reframe our perspectives, finding hidden opportunities for growth and development even in the most trying circumstances. By practicing acceptance, equanimity, and a growth mindset, we not only navigate through challenges with greater ease but also emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient on the other side.
As we bid farewell to the wrestling arena of this piece, let us carry the spirit of Stoicism with us. Let us remember that life’s struggles, like a wrestling match, test our mettle, refine our character, and forge our inner strength. May we approach each challenge as a stoic wrestler, just like our emperor Marcus Aurelius, ready to grapple with the adversities of life and confident in our ability to rise above.
So, let us embrace the philosophy of the wrestling Stoic mindset, for within the arena of life, our true greatness is revealed.
